These past fews months have been crazy. Things I was sure of last semester now leave questions marks in my mind. Things I was confident in now leave me doubting. I was talking to a friend about this last night and they told me that it was good because it meant I had a seeking heart. I never thought of it that way. I always felt like all of these unsure feelings were bad and I was scared to let anyone see past my facade of being "ok." Maybe God's let me go down this road to prepare me for big change. A time for molding, mending, and renovating.
Last week I found myself feeling as though I had lost myself. In high school I was somewhat sure of things, outgoing, warm, and encouraging. I miss that girl. I know those aspects are still there but they're different. Coming to college took away all my security blankets and complacencies. I know it's a good thing, but when I try to handle without God's help, it's so overwhelming. I'm ready to be sure of things again and I'm ready to fearlessly be myself. There's freedom in that.