My heart and thoughts are at home today. I got a call from my dad last night that my mom is in the hospital. (Dad, it was so good to hear from you. I miss you and love you. :) )She's been sick this week and turns out she needed surgery to take her gallbladder out. I haven't had any updates since last night and at that point she had not had surgery yet. I've been praying that all is going well, that her doctors will make wise choices, and that she is cared for. I want to be there with her, to keep her company, and to take care of her, but I'm here in Uganda which is 2 day trip by plane away from home. So Mom, if you're reading this know that I love you and that I'm praying for you constantly.
Getting that call from my dad last night confirmed one of my fears of possibly serving abroad one day. If things do happen to my family I can't just get in the car and go. That may be one of the costs of picking up my cross and following Him where He leads me. I praise God that He does take care of us and that He can use any situation to bring about good.
So Mom, take it easy, get well soon, sleep a ton, catch up on NCIS and So You Think You Can Dance, have Shelby make you dinner :), eat some popsicles, and do as your doctors say. Love you <3
*UPDATE: Mom is home recovering now. She is recovering faster than doctors expected, which is awesome. Thanks for you prayers. :)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
New Friends
No matter what kind of day I'm having, the kids here always make me smile. There's nothing quite like walking along a super muddy footpath with at least 4 children holding onto you. Let's just say it takes skills and luckily no one's gotten hurt yet. :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
A Day in the Life
Rooster crows
Family talking and cleaning
Wake up- foggy eyed
Bucket bath
Fumble in the dimness
No wrinkles allowed
Tea, bread, Blue Band, Zesta
Red dirt roads
Huge pot-holes
Watch your step
Stares from adults
“Bye mzungu!”
Waves and shouts from children
Some with distended bellies
Walk up hill
Sweat in the heat, humidity, and sunlight
Classes
Try to concentrate
Find motivation
Decipher accents
What was the question?
Rain storm- buckets
Run for cover
Fatigue sets in
Cramming in the assignments
Reading…and more reading
Head home
30 minutes pass
Local kids run up to meet us
Tugging my skirt
4 kids trying to hold my 2 hands
“Pick me up!”
Greetings from family
“You are welcome.”
Tea time...or hot chocolate
Catch up with family
Talk to the chapatti guys
Unwind from the day
Ugandan News or
Dubbed-over Spanish soap operas
Bathe again, if you want
Help wash dishes
Set up for dinner
Tummy rumbles
Dinner…at 9:30 or 10
Matoke, rice, bean “soup”, sometimes meat
Pass out,
"Good night."
Repeat.
Family talking and cleaning
Wake up- foggy eyed
Bucket bath
Fumble in the dimness
No wrinkles allowed
Tea, bread, Blue Band, Zesta
Red dirt roads
Huge pot-holes
Watch your step
Stares from adults
“Bye mzungu!”
Waves and shouts from children
Some with distended bellies
Walk up hill
Sweat in the heat, humidity, and sunlight
Classes
Try to concentrate
Find motivation
Decipher accents
What was the question?
Rain storm- buckets
Run for cover
Fatigue sets in
Cramming in the assignments
Reading…and more reading
Head home
30 minutes pass
Local kids run up to meet us
Tugging my skirt
4 kids trying to hold my 2 hands
“Pick me up!”
Greetings from family
“You are welcome.”
Tea time...or hot chocolate
Catch up with family
Talk to the chapatti guys
Unwind from the day
Ugandan News or
Dubbed-over Spanish soap operas
Bathe again, if you want
Help wash dishes
Set up for dinner
Tummy rumbles
Dinner…at 9:30 or 10
Matoke, rice, bean “soup”, sometimes meat
Pass out,
"Good night."
Repeat.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Back to Reality
I just got back from Jinja last night and it was a great weekend trip. We actually stayed at a resort in rooms that looked like huts. It was sweet. We got to hear from several missionaries, went to a place called the Source Cafe, went on a devotional tour of Jinja, went out on a tour of the Nile, had pizza, and went to a local church. I really liked this past weekend a lot and would love to go back to Jinja again. This weekend also made me think about a lot of things. During our devotional tour a missionary named Ben took us around the town to different locations- starting first at the spot where Lake Victoria turns into the Nile, then to a street where many Indians used to live, then through an industrial part of town called the Ting Ting, all the while asking questions like, "Why are you here? What's important to you? Do you want a testimony or a title? How will you be remembered?"
Lastly Ben took us to Jinja Hospital to see what it's like. He told us to walk through the wards and to say hi to people. Jinja Hospital is the place to go for the nearly 2 million people in the area. It's nothing like an American hospital- you can wait WEEKS before you see a doctor and the staff doesn't really take care of you. They give you your meds but after that you're on your own. It's up to your family to take care of you, bathe you, and feed you.
When I walked into the hospital it was a complete shock. When Ben said "ward" I assumed it would be a hallway with double rooms, but it was really an open room with 15-20 beds. I felt so awkward being there. You've got extremely sick people laying in beds and we've been told to just go take a look. It was a struggle for me to do that- personally I think it would have been a lot better if we would have stayed the whole day and gotten to really talk to the people instead of just going on a "tour." I think the reason it made me really uncomfortable though was because of the conditions. Before I left I walked through a TB ward. We were told that people who have HIV and AIDS don't die from those diseases, but they die from diseases and infections they catch due to their failing immune systems. TB is a common culprit. When you get TB and it gets really bad your chest begins to fill up with fluid making it super hard to breathe, so it's like you're suffocating. If you're lucky they can insert a needle and remove some of the fluid. All in all, TB is a terrible thing to deal with. When I walked into the ward everything in me wanted to run. There were people laying on hospital beds hooked up to IVs and you could tell they were suffering and in pain. There was on man who was surrounded by his family and when I looked at him I could see him laboring for each breathe. His sides would rise and fall very dramatically and you could see the worried looks on his family's tear-stained faces. I don't know if that man was on the brink of death, but I don't think I'll ever forget seeing that.
Going to the hospital was a nice reality check. This is reality for so many people. Even as an American in Africa if I get taken to a health care facility, I could get seen a lot faster than those around me. I'd hash out my money and get taken care of. It's sad. But having sympathy for those people gets me nowhere. You feel sorry for a little while and move on. Empathy and reliance on God are what's needed to try to bring about change or to at least wage the battle alongside people. People are people no matter where you go and they all desire to be loved, needed, listened to, and to have a purpose.
This made me think about the question, "What are you here for?" A good story to tell? A "life experience?" It made me realize that my motives in coming weren't exactly pure. Part of me wanted to have that story to tell when I got back. But the truth is, yeah I'll have things to say, but people won't be interested for long. Sure I'm able to do something that many people don't have the chance to do, but it means nothing if I don't let this experience change me. I battle the desire of wanting a story to tell, but more and more of my heart wants to be here to be changed. To see where God leads and to let Him mold me. God's given me a chance to see people He loves unconditionally in a different context. He's showing me the widows, orphans, and the poor that He cares so much about. I'm also realizing that I don't know what lies ahead. Whether I'll live in the US or abroad when I'm older, but He's showing me the importance of following Him no matter the cost. I may have to be away from my friends and family and comforts of "home" but He's trying to teach me that His ways are higher, bigger, and so much better than my ways.
So the "I don't knows" remain and I'm learning to be ok with that. I serve a God who sees it all and whose timing is perfect.
Lastly Ben took us to Jinja Hospital to see what it's like. He told us to walk through the wards and to say hi to people. Jinja Hospital is the place to go for the nearly 2 million people in the area. It's nothing like an American hospital- you can wait WEEKS before you see a doctor and the staff doesn't really take care of you. They give you your meds but after that you're on your own. It's up to your family to take care of you, bathe you, and feed you.
When I walked into the hospital it was a complete shock. When Ben said "ward" I assumed it would be a hallway with double rooms, but it was really an open room with 15-20 beds. I felt so awkward being there. You've got extremely sick people laying in beds and we've been told to just go take a look. It was a struggle for me to do that- personally I think it would have been a lot better if we would have stayed the whole day and gotten to really talk to the people instead of just going on a "tour." I think the reason it made me really uncomfortable though was because of the conditions. Before I left I walked through a TB ward. We were told that people who have HIV and AIDS don't die from those diseases, but they die from diseases and infections they catch due to their failing immune systems. TB is a common culprit. When you get TB and it gets really bad your chest begins to fill up with fluid making it super hard to breathe, so it's like you're suffocating. If you're lucky they can insert a needle and remove some of the fluid. All in all, TB is a terrible thing to deal with. When I walked into the ward everything in me wanted to run. There were people laying on hospital beds hooked up to IVs and you could tell they were suffering and in pain. There was on man who was surrounded by his family and when I looked at him I could see him laboring for each breathe. His sides would rise and fall very dramatically and you could see the worried looks on his family's tear-stained faces. I don't know if that man was on the brink of death, but I don't think I'll ever forget seeing that.
Going to the hospital was a nice reality check. This is reality for so many people. Even as an American in Africa if I get taken to a health care facility, I could get seen a lot faster than those around me. I'd hash out my money and get taken care of. It's sad. But having sympathy for those people gets me nowhere. You feel sorry for a little while and move on. Empathy and reliance on God are what's needed to try to bring about change or to at least wage the battle alongside people. People are people no matter where you go and they all desire to be loved, needed, listened to, and to have a purpose.
This made me think about the question, "What are you here for?" A good story to tell? A "life experience?" It made me realize that my motives in coming weren't exactly pure. Part of me wanted to have that story to tell when I got back. But the truth is, yeah I'll have things to say, but people won't be interested for long. Sure I'm able to do something that many people don't have the chance to do, but it means nothing if I don't let this experience change me. I battle the desire of wanting a story to tell, but more and more of my heart wants to be here to be changed. To see where God leads and to let Him mold me. God's given me a chance to see people He loves unconditionally in a different context. He's showing me the widows, orphans, and the poor that He cares so much about. I'm also realizing that I don't know what lies ahead. Whether I'll live in the US or abroad when I'm older, but He's showing me the importance of following Him no matter the cost. I may have to be away from my friends and family and comforts of "home" but He's trying to teach me that His ways are higher, bigger, and so much better than my ways.
So the "I don't knows" remain and I'm learning to be ok with that. I serve a God who sees it all and whose timing is perfect.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Looking Up
The last few days have been pretty good. I think I’m getting the hang of classes and am finding routine in my “new life.” If you’ve been praying for me, thank you. I seriously mean that. I’ve realized that I need to take life a step at a time, day by day. I’m also learning the importance of the saying, “Wherever you are, be all there.” There have been so many times that my thoughts drift back to life in the U.S., which isn’t bad but when I choose to dwell on that and let my longings for home overtake my thoughts I’m setting myself up to miss out on things here. I need to appreciate the little things and see the little victories like the fact that my host mom is warming up to us more and she initiates conversations now. It’s awesome.
I’ve also been learning that when God calls us to obey Him, He doesn’t mean just when we feel like it. I knew this but I've been convicted about how little I live it out. Sure I may be tired and drained but that gives me no excuse to slack off. He tells us to love others- all the time. I need to rely on Him to fill me up and to be my strength, no matter what the situation or how I'm feeling. That’s been a thing I’ve struggled with b/c when I get drained I tend to retreat and get away for some silent moments and to pray. This is not a bad thing, but it becomes no good when I choose to isolate myself from others and not love on those around me. Anyways, these are just a few things that God’s been laying on my heart lately.
And now I would like to introduce you to my oldest brother, Brian. Brian is so great and he always makes me smile and laugh. He has a genuine heart for people and would love to work in the medical field. He worked for 6 months distributing meds to HIV and AIDS patients. I can often find Brian watching movies or walking around the house singing worship songs. He’s always got a smile for you. We’ve discovered he’s got a knack for playing the card game B.S. and we decided to teach him Spoons…which he’s slowly getting the hang of. :)
I’ve also been learning that when God calls us to obey Him, He doesn’t mean just when we feel like it. I knew this but I've been convicted about how little I live it out. Sure I may be tired and drained but that gives me no excuse to slack off. He tells us to love others- all the time. I need to rely on Him to fill me up and to be my strength, no matter what the situation or how I'm feeling. That’s been a thing I’ve struggled with b/c when I get drained I tend to retreat and get away for some silent moments and to pray. This is not a bad thing, but it becomes no good when I choose to isolate myself from others and not love on those around me. Anyways, these are just a few things that God’s been laying on my heart lately.
And now I would like to introduce you to my oldest brother, Brian. Brian is so great and he always makes me smile and laugh. He has a genuine heart for people and would love to work in the medical field. He worked for 6 months distributing meds to HIV and AIDS patients. I can often find Brian watching movies or walking around the house singing worship songs. He’s always got a smile for you. We’ve discovered he’s got a knack for playing the card game B.S. and we decided to teach him Spoons…which he’s slowly getting the hang of. :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
A Not So Normal Week
So, there were riots here last week. I don't want to go into detail about why it happened b/c 1. I don't quite understand it all and 2. you may not understand my explanation either, haha. What it all came down to was tensions between the Kabaka (King of Buganda) and President Museveni. People decided it would be smart to start riots...they burned tires, cars, buses, people looted, made giant road blocks out of trees, and plain just caused problems. The riot police got involved using tear gas and rubber bullets. The first day we had to be driven home b/c of tear gas and the second day we had to leave school early and head straight home. I definitely saw burn marks on the road from the burnt tires and the trees they used for road blocks. I could sit in my house and hear the police firing bullets nearby. My host dad couldn't even drive home b/c of the road blocks and had to walk. My sister Judith ended staying at an uncles house for about 3 days because of the unrest. Not gonna lie, there were points when I got really nervous,especially when I could hear the gun shots near our house. Praise God, we are all safe and sound and it looks like peace is being restored. When we went to church yesterday everyone was definitely talking about tear gas all the time, haha.
I'm heading into my 4th week here in Africa, that's nuts to me. I feel homesick time to time. The craziest thing is that I feel the most homesick when I wake up in the mornings because I usually have just had a dream about home and the people there. I'm really thankful for my family here and for the friends I've made. I have the constant question on my mind of wondering if I'm doing things right. This experience will be what I make it and I know I'm learning things not only about Uganda, but about life and myself. But no matter how I feel (feelings can be deceiving) I know without a doubt that I am blessed and that God is always with me. As I sat on the front porch at my house yesterday, taking in a few rare quiet moments I was overwhelmed with a feeling of "I don't know." I can't really describe it, but as I prayed God reassured me that He's there, holding my hand.
I'm heading into my 4th week here in Africa, that's nuts to me. I feel homesick time to time. The craziest thing is that I feel the most homesick when I wake up in the mornings because I usually have just had a dream about home and the people there. I'm really thankful for my family here and for the friends I've made. I have the constant question on my mind of wondering if I'm doing things right. This experience will be what I make it and I know I'm learning things not only about Uganda, but about life and myself. But no matter how I feel (feelings can be deceiving) I know without a doubt that I am blessed and that God is always with me. As I sat on the front porch at my house yesterday, taking in a few rare quiet moments I was overwhelmed with a feeling of "I don't know." I can't really describe it, but as I prayed God reassured me that He's there, holding my hand.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
You are God
You are God...
no matter where we are.
You are not limited by location, languages, circumstance, our mistakes, misunderstandings, by the boxes we put you in. You are not changed.
You are a God of...
compassion, forgiveness, justice, restoration, mending, unending love, miracles, and intimacy.
You are God...
of the poor, hurting, healing, broken, growing, confused, displaced, the journeying, the planted, the forgotten, lonely, the joyful.
Your love doesn't change despite our shortcomings, failures, or mess ups.
You ARE God.
no matter where we are.
You are not limited by location, languages, circumstance, our mistakes, misunderstandings, by the boxes we put you in. You are not changed.
You are a God of...
compassion, forgiveness, justice, restoration, mending, unending love, miracles, and intimacy.
You are God...
of the poor, hurting, healing, broken, growing, confused, displaced, the journeying, the planted, the forgotten, lonely, the joyful.
Your love doesn't change despite our shortcomings, failures, or mess ups.
You ARE God.
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